Forgiveness in Seven Healthy Steps

Forgiveness in Seven Healthy Steps

Attaining healthy forgiveness in seven steps


To attain true health, letting go of hurtful feelings and anger is key. This is forgiveness. And, it is all for you.


What you may not know is too forgive, is 100% personal. It does not involve “making up” with anyone. You do not even have to talk to the person to let go and forgive. You are not reconciling with that person, sometimes it is better not to reconcile, you are forgiving to help your soul.


When people are able to forgive and let go, they sleep better and their cardiovascular functions improve. People who chose to make forgiveness a habit tend to be more satisfied with their lives and to have less depression, anxiety, stress, anger and hostility. People who hang on to grudges, however, are more likely to experience severe depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as other health conditions.

Tanya Marchiol on to Forgive
Tanya Marchiol on to Forgive

Achieving forgiveness involves these seven steps:

  1. Acknowledge the hurt. Recognizing that you have anger, sadness, vulnerability, or other emotions that connect to the event is the first step toward forgiveness.
  2. Let go of the “If-Thens.”  To forgive does not involve apologies. Forgiveness can happen with no strings attached. You do not have to involve the other person in forgiveness at all.
  3. Let go of expectations.  An apology on either part may not  change the outcome or  the  relationship.  Don’t expect anyone to see the error of their ways.  Remember this is about  you…  LET GO!
  4. Don’t think to forgive as an obligation. You choose whether or not to forgive; no one else should be involved in how you feel.
  5. Rework your story. Sob stories can become habitual. When you forgive, you stop repeating the same sob story. Making your story empowering will empower you.
  6. Try a little empathy. Forgiveness happens when empathy is involved. You do not have to engage with the other person. But, by attempting to humanize the person, you will have an easier time managing your emotions. There are  two sides  to every coin.
  7. Don’t try to zip through it. This is your project, so you can move through it at your own pace. You do not need to rush to forgiveness, but when you forgive, you overcome those painful emotions.


Dump the potent brew of anger, resentment, and self-pity to achieve forgiveness. When you allow yourself to forgive, you stop prior events from having power over you. As you work your way to forgive, you may move back and forth through these steps. Eventually, you will begin to sleep better and feel better as you achieve true health through forgiveness.


The bottom line is  you must decide to forgive.  Once you make  that choice and  work these steps you are  sealing your freedom.

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